Sukkot – Dwelling in Trust

Torah Portion: Leviticus 22:26 – 23:44 & Numbers 29:12 – 29:16 Haftarah Zechariah 14:1-21

Focal point: Vayikra/Lev 23:34

“Say to the Israelite people: On the fifteenth day of this seventh month there shall be the Feast of Booths to the Lord, [to last] seven days.”

“Sukkot reminds us that ultimate security is found not within the walls of our home but in the presence of God and one another. Indeed, there is a midrash that says that sukkot are not buildings at all but the glory of God. This holiday helps us understand that sometimes the walls we build to protect us serve instead to divide us, cut us off, lock us in.

The walls of our sukkot may make us vulnerable, but they make us available, too, to receive the kindness and the support of one another, to hear when another calls out in need, to poke our heads in to see whether anybody is up for a chat and a cup of coffee. In contrast, our walls of concrete and steel can enslave us in our own solitude and loneliness. Sukkot reminds us that freedom is enjoyed best not when we are hidden away behind our locked doors but rather when we are able to open our homes and our hearts to one another.” From Kolel

This ties in very nicely with what I quoted from Alcoholics Anonymous when I wrote about G-d, Promises and The Days of Awe:

“That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear. We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows. Self-seeking will slip away. Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change. Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us. We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us. We will suddenly realize that G-d is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves. Are these extravagant promises? We think not. They are being fulfilled among us – sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. They will always materialize if we work for them.” (Alcoholics Anonymous p83-84)

On Yom Kippur we had a close encounter of the third degree with G-d during which we looked at who we are, what we have been and how to go on, and now on Sukkot we are asked to trust that G-d is going with us into the New Year, just like He went with the People during the forty years of wanderings in the desert. In fact we are to physically build that trust as we build the sukkah, and dwell in it for seven days, eat in there and invite our friends into our sukkah to share with us. And we are to visit others’ sukkot and share with them.

The sukkah is a fragile building, but as it is made of tree branches it is also resilient. It gives some protection from view, but that’s it. Trust is the same, it does give protection – inner protection – because when we trust, G-d, ourselves and others we build strength and wholeness, we learn to deal with the past, let go of it and move on with our Program trusting that G-d will care for us like He took care of our ancestors.

In one of our Bed Time Prayers we say: “Spread over us Your Sukkah of peace, direct us with Your good counsel, and save us for Your own Name’s sake.”

There are many versions of this line – some have say “wings” others say “presence” – but I like this version best, because it indicates something tangible, a structure, and since it’s G-d’s it’s constant, it’s always there for us, to take shelter in and learn more about what trust and wholeness is.

Amen

G-d, Promises and The Days of Awe

“If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are half way through. We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness. We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it. We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace. No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others. That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear. We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows. Self-seeking will slip away. Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change. Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us. We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us. We will suddenly realize that G-d is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves. Are these extravagant promises? We think not. They are being fulfilled among us – sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. They will always materialize if we work for them.” (Alcoholics Anonymous p83-84)

“This Phase” of course refers to working the 12 Steps of Recovery 1-9.

Note that it says, “before we are half way through…” – what’s half-way through 9? 4.5 – so perhaps we are teetering on the edge of Step 5 – what an excellent opportunity to do our 5th Step right before Yom Kippur, so that we can turn to G-d having cleaned out all that old shame, fear, guilt about what we have lived through! Regardless what we decide to do, the result will be a renewal.

Another angle:

“When you make any vow to the L-rd your G-d, you must pay it without delay…If you refrain from making a vow, that is no sin for you; but you must be careful to perform any promise you have made with your lips.” (Deut. 23:22)

I seldom make promises to G-d, but I sure make them to myself all the time – and somehow I think Torah here is talking about both kinds of promises. Promising things and not keeping them, forgetting that I made that promise – somehow I and G-d always end up with the shorter end of the stick in the Promise department. They get shuffled out as “not important”. But Torah says that they are. One reason for this is that broken promises, or non-fullfilled promises erodes our trust and our sense of self-worth. Constantly making little promises to oneself and not following through is demoralizing. Torah abhors broken people, so Torah creates a mitzvah – “Follow through also on the vows you make to G-d (and yourself).”

Yom Kippur has a very specific formula to take care of the erosion of our souls tha comes from making all those little promises, commitments and resolutions to ourselves and G-d that we failed to honor: Kol Nidre.

The Ashkenazi version, which has “from this Day of Atonement until the next (whose happy coming we await)” rather than “from the last Day of Atonement until this one”, in my mind is rather useless in terms of having any healing properties, so I will quote the Sefardi version:

“All vows, obligations, oaths, and anathemas, whether called ‘konam,’ ‘konas,’ or by any other name, which we may have vowed, or sworn, or pledged, or whereby we may be bound, from the last Day of Atonement until this one, we do repent. May they be deemed absolved, forgiven, annulled, and void, and made of no effect; they shall not bind us nor have power over us. The vows shall not be reckoned vows; the obligations shall not be obligatory; nor the oaths be oaths.”

This is said 3 times – so it should give us plenty of time to let go of all those failed promises made to ourselves and G-d, during the past year, so we can step into His Presence and get straightened out, so our recovery can continue unhindered, that we may be all we can in the time until the next Yom Kippur.

May our sealing be for life, goodness and healing!

Amen

G-d, Lashon Hara and The Days of Awe

“Don’t tell the truth, don’t share your opinion about people – or should we call them Main Characters in Torah….because then you are lying, using evil speak and embarrassing them in public…”

This echoes the things we were taught as children, “Don’t speak, don’t feel, don’t rock the boat”, doesn’t it? Isn’t this what keeps so many of us in bondage, sexually, emotionally, physically, spiritually, tied to our abusive pasts, because we are not allowed, not only by our families, but by oversensitive and legalistic interpretations of Torah?

I agree that we should avoid embarrassing living people in public, especially if there is no need, if the issue can be solved some other way – but that one is not allowed to expound on Torah in a manner that shows that indeed the Forefathers and Foremothers were human being just like you and me, with flaws, faults, character defects and dysfunctions, that is simply ridiculous.

People in Torah were some times up shit creek with themselves. That needs to be said, or what use is it to anyone to try and emulate their good sides, if we cannot identify with them on a deeper level, that of shame, fear, suffering and anger?

None whatsoever. It only serves the disease and the abusers.

The prohibition against Lashon Hara doesn’t cover the

“times when a person is obligated to speak out, even though the information is disparaging. Specifically, if a person’s intent in sharing the negative information is for a to’elet, a positive, constructive, and beneficial purpose, the prohibition against lashon hara does not apply. Motzi shem ra, spouting lies and spreading disinformation, is always prohibited. And if the lashon hara serves as a warning against the possibility of future harm, such communication is not only permissible, but, under certain conditions, compulsory.”

So as we clamber through The Days of Awe, and take time to examine our conduct and reason with G-d about it, we shouldn’t be shy about speaking the truth about where we came from, both in regards to our families and in regards to ourselves and remember that

“For the mistakes we committed before You through things we blurted out with our lips” and “For the mistakes we committed before You through harsh speech”(from the Al Chet Prayer)

doesn’t speak about disclosing our parents’ disease, abuse and dysfunction.

Amen

G-d, Forgiveness and The Days of Awe

Forgiveness
By Jay Litvin
————-

“These were the days before Yom Kippur. I was lonely and couldn’t figure out why. The loneliness had been there for months.

Things were good with my wife and kids. I’d been on the phone with my sisters and in close contact with my friends.

So, what was the source of this loneliness?

I was missing G-d.

I was and had been feeling distant from Him. A strange feeling for me. Even in my late teens I had been able to connect with Him when I needed to. He always answers my calls. Sometimes I don’t even need to call. I just feel his companionship as I journey through life.

But these last months had been lonely. I had been separate from Him, unable even to call out. And I didn’t know why.

Just before Yom Kippur, I received an e-mail from a friend. He’s not a religious Jew, though we discourse often about G-d and Torah. He’s a writer and has a way with words. We also share the same disease, and talk much about our symptoms, history, fears, treatments and aches. There’s a special something that happens with people who share the same disease. We never have to worry about boring each other. All our concerns and obsessions about the daily changes in our health or symptoms, our latest internet discoveries about new cures and clinical trials may bore others, but are continuously fascinating to us.

At the end of this email my friend wrote: “Jay, this Yom Kippur, I don’t think you should go to shul and ask G-d for forgiveness. This Yom Kippur you should stay home and G-d should come crawling on His knees and beg you to forgive Him for what He’s done to you.”

When I read these lines I laughed. My friend is a sacrilegious provocateur. He believed what he said, but he mainly wrote those words to shock me. I filed his words, but paid them little attention.

As Yom Kippur drew close, I continued to wonder what was taking place between G-d and me. I worried that this day of prayer and fasting would be void of the usual connection that Yom

And then in a flash I realized that I was angry at G-d. And had been for some time. I was angry about my disease and I was angry that I was not yet healed. I was angry about my pain. And I was angry at the disruption to my life, the fear, the worry and anxiety that my disease was causing my family and those who loved and cared about me. I was angry about the whole thing, and He, being the boss of everything that happens in the world, was responsible and to blame.

And so, I entered Yom Kippur angry at G-d.

I put on my kittel and my tallit and I went to shul.”(excerpt from very long article)

I can’t help but feel that this is very apt for me, and I am sure for many in Recovery – one reason we have trouble working the Steps that includes G-d. We are angry with G-d, we feel that G-d has deserted us, cheated us, let us face all kinds of horrible things alone, and you know what?

He has. We have every right to be angry at Him.

But that is not the end of the story. Eventually we realize that what we have been through, as horrible as it was (and still is for many) it has also made us the persons we are today. We have picked some very useful skills, that perhaps originally were meant to protect us as children. Most of what we learned as children is not useful to us as adults.

Hyper vigilance f.i is not useful – but if we look at hyper vigilance we see that trimmed down to functional levels through the Program, it is nothing but a very keen sense of observation, an eye for detail and context – that is useful.

My wife said that being bullied in school has taught her compassion.

My need for control has resulted in a very neat skill – I can read virtually any document up-side down. Being dyscalculic has given me a very good memory for numbers. The fact that my caregivers never bothered to teach me things means that I have a knack for learning by watching others do, this helps me when I need to learn complicated sequences, something I have trouble with because of my dyscalculia.

So while G-d let us go through all the crap, and it wasn’t fair, and we have every right to be angry with Him, at one point or other we have to let G-d off the hook for His shortcomings, because it has made us who we are – and who we are is good, perfectly imperfect and as it should be. As much as we need G-d to reason with us, as much do we need to reason with G-d, so that scarlet and crimson can become snow white and as wool (Yeshayahu 1:18)

The Days of Awe and Yom Kippur is as good a time as any to start.
Amen

copyright Henric C. Jensen

G-d, Distance and The Days of Awe

G-d is Compassion. He looks at our efforts to rectify our ways during The Days of Awe. Even if it seems that while we are taking a hard look at ourselves and attempting to make changes, that He might be distant, He is really never closer than when we seek to correct what we have messed up, because that is when we need Him the most.

If He really was distant from us, then how can He say:

Isa 1:18

“Come now, and let us reason together, saith the L-RD; though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool.”

“let us reason together” – that is not the words of Someone who has distanced Himself from someone – it’s the words of Someone who desires to bring us through the work of self-reflection and honest assessments of our wrongs, our life stories and our doubts, walking side by side with us. At the end of that walk what used to be sullied, soiled and broken will be clean, pure and healed.

There’s midrash about a king who had a son.

The son had left home a long time ago after a fall-out with his father, and had moved a long way away from where he came from. The king, his father, sent out messages telling his son to come home. One of those messages  reached the son, and he responded “I can’t, it’s been to long and it’s too far to walk”. The King then sent another message saying “It doesn’t matter, you start walking now and I will meet you on the road where ever you are and we will walk the remaining stretch together”.

That’s G-d for us – meeting us on the way, walking with us and reasoning with us about what we have been doing with out lives the past year, so we can come to peaceful, healing and constructive conclusion on Yom Kippur.

G-d, a Holy Presence and The Days of Awe

. SEPTEMBER 15 .

When people are loving, brave, truthful, charitable, God is present.
- Harold Kushner

For many of us, our spiritual awakening began when we first heard our Higher Power might be our group. We learned that God may exist in the connections between people in our group just as well as within each individual. As we members exchange care and help with each other, as each struggles to achieve complete honesty and wrestles bravely with old temptations, God is truly in our midst. Closeness flourishes because we felt so alone but then found friends who suffered in similar ways. It is an expression of a spirit beyond our rational control.

When we ask another member to listen to us, we contribute to the strength of this spirit. When we give someone a ride to a meeting or spread the word about this program to other suffering men and women, we make a contribution and receive its benefits. Even now, if we need a renewal of confidence in God’s presence in our lives, we can telephone another member and just talk. We will quickly sense the spirit.

Today, I am grateful to feel God’s presence in my life and within the people around me.

This entry from Touchstones actually fit very well with part of the Shabbat Shuva Haftarah Text: Yoel 2:15-16

“Blow a horn in Zion,
Solemnize a fast,
Proclaim an assembly!
Gather the people,
Bid the congregation purify themselves.
Bring together the old,
Gather the babes
And the sucklings at the breast;
Let the bridegroom come out of his chamber,
The bride from her canopied couch.”

During The Days of Awe, we spend a lot of time looking at ourselves – in company of others – scrutinizing our lives, looking for renewal of our trust and faith in ourselves, G-d and others, as well as a chance to start all over.

For us as Jews in Recovery the High Holy Days and the Time In Between them is a perfect time to reach out and ask for help, not just from G-d, but from each other. Yoel tells us that we are to proclaim an assembly, gather our people, the young, the old and those in between. And then he tells us in 2:27, the last verse of the Haftarah:

“And you shall know
That I am in the midst of Israel:
That I the Lord am your God
And there is no other.
And My people shall be shamed no more.”

When we go to meetings, attend shul, reach out and gather during the Days of Awe, G-d, the Rock of our ancestors, the Salvation of Israel is right there in or midst. We will shamed no more. Not just as a nation, but as individuals. Shame dies in the light of closeness with others and with G-d.

Adon Olam

The Lord of the Universe who reigned
before anything was created.
When all was made by his will
He was acknowledged as King.

And when all shall end
He still all alone shall reign.
He was, He is,
and He shall be in glory.

 

And He is one, and there’s no other,
to compare or join Him.
Without beginning, without end
and to Him belongs diminion and power.

 

And He is my G-d, my living G-d.
to Him I flee in time of grief,
and He is my miracle and my refuge,
who answers the day I shall call.

 

To Him I commit my spirit,
in the time of sleep and awakening,
even if my spirit leaves,
G-d is with me, I shall not fear.

Amen

G-d, Words and the Days of Awe

The Haftarot for Shabbat Shuva (the Shabbat between Rosh HaShana and Yom Kippur are Hoshea 14:2-10, Michah 7:18-20 and Yoel 2:15-27. The texts of Michah and Yoel follows on the same page.

“Return, O Israel, to the Lord your God,
For you have fallen because of your sin.
Take words with you
And return to the Lord.
Say to Him:
“Forgive all guilt
And accept what is good;
Instead of bulls we will pay
[The offering of] our lips.” (Hoshea 14:2-3)

I read this and am in awe at how simple it is.

1. Return To G-d.
2. Take with you Words.
3. Say to G-d: Forgive!

Yup, that simple, that beautiful. Just walk up to G-d with your words and say: “Forgive me”.

There’s more – G-d tells to us to tell Him to look at us and see what in us is GOOD, and that we are giving the best we have – Words of remorse.

1. Accept that which is good
2. We give the offerings of our lips.

Then let’s move on to the next part:

“I will heal their affliction,
Generously will I take them back in love;
For My anger has turned away from them.” (Hoshea 14:5)

At which G-d response is unconditional love, because our words of teshuvah turns away or melts His anger.

That simple.

“Who is a God like You,
Forgiving iniquity
And remitting transgression;
Who has not maintained His wrath forever
Against the remnant of His own people,
Because He loves graciousness!
He will take us back in love;
He will cover up our iniquities,
You will hurl all our sins
Into the depths of the sea.”

Amen

G-d, Intentions and The Days of Awe

What really struck a cord with me at that time was the analogy of Homer Simpson. Homer, like us, despite his failings and evident flaws as a human being tried his best to do what was good. He may have failed miserably but he tried his best. And THAT, in my opinion, makes Homer a good person. Why, I asked myself, would a just God punish Homer?

This ties in with what I sent out as a New Years Greeting the other day:

“The world was created on the 25th of Elul… Thus we find that Primal Adam was created on the first of Tishrei…at the 10th hour he disobeyed God’s command, at the 11th he was judged…. The Holy One said to him: Adam, you are a precedent for your progeny. Just as you came before me for judgment and I absolved you, so shall your progeny come before Me for judgment and I will absolve them. When? On Rosh Hashanah, ‘In the seventh month, on the first day of the month.’”

Somehow we have to approach the Days of Awe with hope, with confidence that G-d will forgive us and write us a New Year. He will, Tradition says, but we have to want it. Teshuvah is more about willingness to change and taking the possible steps towards such change, that it is about actually succeeding in making those changes. G-d forgives. G-d meets us on the road, however far away we are. All we have to do is take one step at a time towards Him in willingness.

G-d really is that simple-minded. Life isn’t about being good or bad, saint or sinner life is about walking with G-d in what ever manner we are capable of, and trust that when the last Neila Prayer is said and the last Shofar has been blown for us, we will be exactly where we are supposed to be, because until then we try our best to get closer to G-d on a personal level, and that is all Life is about.

He will absolve us if we let Him.

Amen

Happy New Year!

“The world was created on the 25th of Elul… Thus we find that Primal Adam was created on the first of Tishrei…at the 10th hour he disobeyed God’s command, at the 11th he was judged…. The Holy One said to him: Adam, you are a precedent for your progeny. Just as you came before me for judgment and I absolved you, so shall your progeny come before Me for judgment and I will absolve them. When? On Rosh Hashanah, ‘In the seventh month, on the first day of the month.’”

Rosh HaShana – Day One – Family Dysfunction

Genesis 21:1-34

I have often wondered why the Sages are so reluctant to admit that the Great People of Torah were fully human with human failings and human feelings.

I was thinking about the Parasha for Rosh HaShana Day One – Yitzhak’s birth – the Parasha speaks about Sarah – and not one source I have found depict her as a woman of flesh and blood, distrusting, jealous, domineering, verbal, abusive and ever the meddler – no, no, Sarah was soooo saintly it’s revolting…

Let’s start with the matter of Ishmael:

Gen 16:2-6 And Sarai said unto Abram: ‘Behold now, the LORD hath restrained me from bearing; go in, I pray thee, unto my handmaid; it may be that I shall be builded up through her.’ And Abram hearkened to the voice of Sarai. And Sarai Abram’s wife took Hagar the Egyptian, her handmaid, after Abram had dwelt ten years in the land of Canaan, and gave her to Abram her husband to be his wife. And he went in unto Hagar, and she conceived; and when she saw that she had conceived, her mistress was despised in her eyes. And Sarai said unto Abram: ‘My wrong be upon thee: I gave my handmaid into thy bosom; and when she saw that she had conceived, I was despised in her eyes: the LORD judge between me and thee.’ But Abram said unto Sarai: ‘Behold, thy maid is in thy hand; do to her that which is good in thine eyes.’ And Sarai dealt harshly with her, and she fled from her face.

G-d has promised to give Avraham an heir – Bereshit/Gen 15:4 – but nothing happened – so Sarah decides to “help G-d along”, she insists that Avraham takes Hagar for a second wife, so he can have an heir. And then when Hagar indeed becomes pregnant, Sarah is all miffed about it, throws all the responsibility on Avraham and demands that Avraham gets rid of Hagar – Avraham is quite puzzled about this and tells Sarah that, as she was the one who thrust Hagar upon him, she be the one to deal with Hagar – now can you say “Co-dependent”? Then she decides that it’s all Hagar’s fault and commence to abuse her to a point where Hagar actually runs away! Oy Vei! Very saintly of Sarah indeed.

Then comes the promise of Yitzhak:

Bereshit/Gen 17:19

“And God said: “Nay, but Sarah thy wife shall bear thee a son; and thou shalt call his name Isaac; and I will establish My covenant with him for an everlasting covenant for his seed after him.

Bereshit/Gen 18:9-15

“And they said unto him: ‘Where is Sarah thy wife?’ And he said: ‘Behold, in the tent.’ And He said: ‘I will certainly return unto thee when the season cometh round; and, lo, Sarah thy wife shall have a son.’ And Sarah heard in the tent door, which was behind him. – Now Abraham and Sarah were old, and well stricken in age; it had ceased to be with Sarah after the manner of women. – And Sarah laughed within herself, saying: ‘After I am waxed old shall I have pleasure, my lord being old also?’ And the LORD said unto Abraham: ‘Wherefore did Sarah laugh, saying: Shall I of a surety bear a child, who am old? Is any thing too hard for the LORD. At the set time I will return unto thee, when the season cometh round, and Sarah shall have a son.’ Then Sarah denied, saying: ‘I laughed not’; for she was afraid. And He said: ‘Nay; but thou didst laugh.’”

At this Sarah laughs at G-d, and lies about having laughed…very saintly. You will have to look very far to find a family as dysfunctional as this.

So when Yitzhak is finally born, what happens?

Sarah immidiately targets poor Hagar and Ishmael for even more abuse – and again she lets Avraham be the tool which she uses to do her dirty deed.

Bereshit/Gen 21:9-12

“And Sarah saw the son of Hagar the Egyptian, whom she had borne unto Abraham, making sport. Wherefore she said unto Abraham: ‘Cast out this bondwoman and her son; for the son of this bondwoman shall not be heir with my son, even with Isaac.’ And the thing was very grievous in Abraham’s sight on account of his son. “

It really is no wonder that Avraham looses it and goes mad to a point where he ends up attempting to sacrifice his second son…he at least had the decency to feel bad about throwing out Hagar and Ishmael.

You know, the Patriarchal/Matriarchal Family is one Dysfunctional Family, from Avraham to Yosef, Sarah to Dinah.
Phew – no wonder Jews are such a mottled crew .

No wonder we need an entire month and ten days to examine ourselves and set right what we have messed up. Baruch HaShem for the Days of Awe!

L’Shanah Tovah Tikatevu

The Parasha/Dvar Torah for the Second Day of Rosh HaShana: Rosh HaShana – The Akedah – More Family Dysfunction

Parasha Ha’azinu – The Ethical Will of Moshe

There is a Jewish Tradition to leave an Ethical Will – a summary of one’s values and ethical principles to those left behind at one’s death – as a means of comfort to those bereaved and a reminder of oneself, that they can keep and return to any time they need and want. The Ha’azinu may very well be just such an Ethical Will – Moshe Rabeinu’s Ethical Will. If so, it’s one angry Leader/Teacher leaving his Students an earful for their bad manners and lack of learning skills!

Devarim/Deuteronomy 32:1
“Listen, O heavens, and I will speak! And let the earth hear the words of my mouth!”

Why would Moshe call on the Heavens and Earth to listen to him, when it is clearly stated in Deu 31:30 that he spoke “in the ears of all the assembly of Israel”? The Sages, as are their want, point out the obvious – that Moshe needs the Heavens and the Earth as witnesses against Israel: “And it will be when these many evils and vicissitudes befall him then this Song will testify before him as a witness…” Deu 31:21
In a way Ha’azinu is sort of a exposee over the History of Israel:

“The Mesiach Illmim, one of the early commentaries on Rashi, offers a cogent insight here. He points out that the Ha’azinu Song is divided into four sections.

1. G-d’s kindness to Israel (verses 3-14)
2. Israel’s rebellion (verse 15- 20)
3. G-d’s vengeance against Israel(verses 21-35)
4. G-d’s vengeance against Israel’s enemies (verses 36-43)”

Ok.

1. G-d gives out all kinds of gifts and asks for loyalty in return. Check.
2. Israel decides they wanna eat the cake and keep it too. Check.
3. G-d gets mad and gets back at Israel for their disloyalty. Check.
4. G-d looks around and finds the REAL reason for Israel’s disobedience – the Gentiles. Check.

Doesn’t look right, does it? No, it doesn’t look right, because it isn’t. Moshe’s Great Speech, although Prophetic and accurate from one basic point of view, is wrought with his own bitterness. He is not going to lead Israel into the Land of Promise, because HE is being made personally responsible for one simple mistake, that was the result of frustration over being pressured by the ever complaining People – and here the entire people get to go where G-d promised, despite the fact that they have been a worse pain in the behind than Moshe ever was. After all, isn’t this song proof of that? You can hear Moshe’s embittered “Why them and not Me?” from his “Listen, O heavens, and I will speak! And let the earth hear the words of my mouth!” “Judge the fairness of this! Tell me this is fair, tell me I am getting a fair hearing and a fair deal!”

Ethical Will Lesson #1 Life is not fair, deal with it!

Rosh HaShana – The Akedah – More Family Dysfunction

Bereshit/Genesis 22:1-18

1. And it came to pass after these things, that God tested Abraham, and He said to him, “Abraham,” and he said, “Here I am.” 2. And He said, “Please take your son, your only one, whom you love, yea, Isaac, and go away to the land of Moriah and bring him up there for a burnt offering on one of the mountains, of which I will tell you.” 3. And Abraham arose early in the morning, and he saddled his donkey, and he took his two young men with him and Isaac his son; and he split wood for a burnt offering, and he arose and went to the place of which God had told him. 4. On the third day, Abraham lifted up his eyes and saw the place from afar. 5. And Abraham said to his young men, “Stay here with the donkey, and I and the lad will go yonder, and we will prostrate ourselves and return to you.” 6. And Abraham took the wood for the burnt offering, and he placed [it] upon his son Isaac, and he took into his hand the fire and the knife, and they both went together. 7. And Isaac spoke to Abraham his father, and he said, “My father!” And he said, “Here I am, my son.” And he said, “Here are the fire and the wood, but where is the lamb for the burnt offering?” 8. And Abraham said, “God will provide for Himself the lamb for the burnt offering, my son.” And they both went together. 9. And they came to the place of which God had spoken to him, and Abraham built the altar there and arranged the wood, and he bound Isaac his son and placed him on the altar upon the wood. 10. And Abraham stretched forth his hand and took the knife, to slaughter his son. 11. And an angel of God called to him from heaven and said, “Abraham! Abraham!” And he said, “Here I am.” 12. And he said, “Do not stretch forth your hand to the lad, nor do the slightest thing to him, for now I know that you are a God fearing man, and you did not withhold your son, your only one, from Me.” 13. And Abraham lifted up his eyes, and he saw, and lo! there was a ram, [and] after [that] it was caught in a tree by its horns. And Abraham went and took the ram and offered it up as a burnt offering instead of his son. 14. And Abraham named that place, The Lord will see, as it is said to this day: On the mountain, the Lord will be seen. 15. And an angel of the Lord called to Abraham a second time from heaven. 16. And he said, “By Myself have I sworn, says the Lord, that because you have done this thing and you did not withhold your son, your only one, 17. That I will surely bless you, and I will greatly multiply your seed as the stars of the heavens and as the sand that is on the seashore, and your descendants will inherit the cities of their enemies.18. And through your children shall be blessed all the nations of the world, because you hearkened to My voice.”

No passage in Torah is so baffling as the text describing G-d commanding Avraham to sacrifice his very precious son Yitzhak. The traditional understanding of the text is that G-d is testing Avraham’s faith and trust in Him. Nothing wrong with that per se, if it weren’t two things:

1. G-d abhors human sacrifice, so much so that He forbids it.

Vay/Lev 18:21 “And thou shalt not give any of thy seed to set them apart to Molech, neither shalt thou profane the name of thy God: I am the LORD.” – What was the manner in which people sacrificed their off-spring to Molech? Through fire: 2Ki 23:10 “And he defiled Topheth, which is in the valley of the son of Hinnom, that no man might make his son or his daughter to pass through the fire to Molech.”

2. Going along with something that is against G-d’s known nature is not anywhere like Avraham, an Avraham who argues with G-d over the righteous in Sodom, and actually question the sanity of G-d when G-d proposes to destroy the city!

Bereshit/Gen 18:23-25 “And Abraham drew near, and said: ‘Wilt Thou indeed sweep away the righteous with the wicked? Peradventure there are fifty righteous within the city; wilt Thou indeed sweep away and not forgive the place for the fifty righteous that are therein? That be far from Thee to do after this manner, to slay the righteous with the wicked, that so the righteous should be as the wicked; that be far from Thee; shall not the judge of all the earth do justly?’ “

Here’s G-d suggesting that His most trusted servant do exactly what He abhors most, sacrifice his own son through Fire, and that most trusted servant goes along with it, although he is known to have no qualms about reminding G-d Himself of His Law? It simply doesn’t fit, it makes absolutely no sense.

So, this text, the Akedah, doesn’t make any sense whatsoever – it’s out of character for both G-d and Avraham, then how are we to understand this?

I am going to go against tradition on this one and suggest that we read the text as something that takes place on an inner plane – inside Avraham.

What if this is not for G-d’s benefit, but for Avraham’s benefit? G-d knows just how much He can trust Avraham (He would, being G-d and all), but what if Avraham is slowly loosing it, or thinks he might be loosing it, and G-d needs a fool-proof way to convince Avraham that he is willing to go any length for G-d? That Avraham can trust Avraham? Loosing it wouldn’t be farfetched in Avraham’s situation – living on a mere promise for decades as he had. So G-d creates a small scenario – it’s not like He hasn’t before, in fact such a scenario is implicated in the passage about Avraham questioning G-d’s sanity in Bereshit/Gen. 18:33. “And the LORD went His way, as soon as He had left off speaking to Abraham; and Abraham returned unto his place” Avraham spoke, G-d spoke – it seems they were having a personal up close conversation. Yet, we know that Torah cannot contradict itself, so Avraham actually speaking face to face with G-d wouldn’t fit what G-d says to Moshe: Shemot/Exo. 33:20 “And He said: ‘Thou canst not see My face, for man shall not see Me and live.’”

This to me indicates that we are indeed dealing with some sort of Inner Conversation, where G-d and Avraham is playing out a scenario that will eventually convince Avraham that he indeed measures up to G-d’s standards.

Another way of reading this text is through the lens of Baruch Sienna at Kolel.org. which would put this text into the catergory of “Torah passages that tells us what NOT to do, through being hideous”.

Avraham is indeed loosing it – it’s been decades since he got the promise, and nothing has happened, except him loosing one son because his wife got jealous, and the second son still too young to be of any use in bringing his tribe to fruition. It would have me chewing on the tent walls, I tell you! So what if Avraham truly went mad? What if he decides to force G-d’s hand and somehow gets the idea that human sacrifice will get the attention of the Almighty? Or is he simply hearing voices? After all he is used to G-d speaking to his mind every now and then, so…

He packs up his son Yitzhak and starts trekking the mountains, finds a spot that fits, and builds an altar, whacks Yitzhak over the head ties him up and starts to sacrifice him, in an attempt to force G-d to acknowledge him – and G-d, because He is G-d, hates human sacrifice and needs Yitzhak to bring His promise to completion breaks through the walls of insanity and stops Avraham’s craziness, and gives him means to do it the right way?

So what can we learn from this different way of reading the Akedah?

Not everything that sounds like G-d is G-d speaking – Torah cannot contradict Torah, and when it does, it’s because we are reading it either too narrowly or too broadly. We have to use Ben Bag Bag’s advice “Turn it and turn it again, because all is in it!” until what we read makes sense, is logical and in tune with the rest of Torah.

When we fail to trust our mental and intellectual faculties and mess up – G-d will break through our wall of insanity and put things right.

L’Shanah Tovah Tikatevu

Another view on the Akedah

Second take on Parasha Nitzavim/Vayelech

Torah Portion, Nitzavim Deuteronomy 29:9 – 30:20

My first focal point:
Chapter 30:1-6

1. And it will be, when all these things come upon you the blessing and the curse which I have set before you that you will consider in your heart, among all the nations where the Lord your God has banished you, 2. and you will return to the Lord, your God, with all your heart and with all your soul, and you will listen to His voice according to all that I am commanding you this day you and your children, 3. then, the Lord, your God, will bring back your exiles, and He will have mercy upon you. He will once again gather you from all the nations, where the Lord, your God, had dispersed you. 4. Even if your exiles are at the end of the heavens, the Lord, your God, will gather you from there, and He will take you from there. 5. And the Lord, your God, will bring you to the land which your forefathers possessed, and you [too] will take possession of it, and He will do good to you, and He will make you more numerous than your forefathers. 6. And the Lord, your God, will circumcise your heart and the heart of your offspring, [so that you may] love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul, for the sake of your life.

And Hashem your G-d will return your captives: Rashi: It should have said “v’haishiv (meaning: will cause to return) your captives” Our Rabbis learned from this that the Holy Spirit, so to speak, dwells with Israel in their distress in exile and when they are redeemed, He writes redemption for Himself! – that He will return (from exile) with them. Another interpretation (of the use of “v’shav” – He will return): It can be said that the day of the Ingathering of the Diaspora is great and very difficult. It is as if He Himself will have to take the hand of each individual from his place (and bring him back from exile). As it says (Isaiah 27:12) “And you will be gathered one by one, you Children of Israel” And even by the other nations we find similarly (Jeremiah 48:47) “And I have retuned (Hebrew: “v’shavti”) the captives of Moav”.

It is very interesting to note that v. 3 implies that G-d Himself goes with Israel into exile, and is the One who brings them back as well – it is even more interesting to note that v.1 takes for granted that the pendulum of blessings and curses will indeed happen, and that this in itself will cause Israel to return, it leads the thoughts to ponder if this cause and effect back and forth is not something that is intended, and if read on a global individual scale it also implies that in fact, G-d cannot be found without trial and error? That we have to encounter both the blessings and the curses in order to be able to make a healthy choice? In that case v. 3 makes even more sense – in order to be found, G-d has to be right there, so He can return with us? We have to need Him in order for Him to be found? That would explain why G-d needs redemption as well – it’s a two way street. We need G-d, or we can’t keep going with the Program, but G-d has to be redeemed within us, to be of any use to us – so when we finally find what is our understanding of G-d, what has happened is G-d’s redemption and we are, together with G-d ready to return to sanity… I like that idea, the idea of us having to explore spirituality and ridding ourselves of false images of G-d and unearth within us OUR individual understanding of G-d and redeem G-d before trusting and turning our lives over to Him.

My second Focal Point:

Haftarah Isaiah 56:1-8

¹ Thus said the Lord:
Observe what is right and do what is just;
For soon My salvation shall come,
And my deliverance be revealed.

² Happy is the man who does this,
The man who holds fast to it:
Who keeps the sabbath and does not profane it,
And stays his hand from doing any evil.

³ Let not the foreigner say,
Who has attached himself to the Lord,
“The Lord will keep me apart from His people”;
And let not the eunuch say,
“I am a withered tree.”

4.For thus said the Lord:
“As for the eunuchs who keep My sabbaths,
Who have chosen what I desire
And hold fast to My covenant —

⁵ I will give them, in My House
And within My walls,
A monument and a name
Better than sons or daughters.
I will give them an everlasting name
Which shall not perish.

⁶ As for the foreigners
Who attach themselves to the Lord,
To minister to Him,
And to love the name of the Lord,
To be His servants —
All who keep the sabbath and do not profane it,
And who hold fast to My covenant —

⁷ I will bring them to My sacred mount
And let them rejoice in My house of prayer.
Their burnt offerings and sacrifices
Shall be welcome on My altar;
For My House shall be called
A house of prayer for all peoples.”

⁸ Thus declares the Lord God,
Who gathers the dispersed of Israel:
“I will gather still more to those already gathered.”

I love this passage, because it speaks in very simple terms about the simplicity of how G-d regards both His Torah and the human condition. No-one is excluded, and the demands are very simple – not necessarily easy, but simple:

¹ Thus said the Lord:
Observe what is right and do what is just;
For soon My salvation shall come,
And my deliverance be revealed.

² Happy is the man who does this,
The man who holds fast to it:
Who keeps the sabbath and does not profane it,
And stays his hand from doing any evil.

This is echoed in Micah 6:6-8:

6. With what shall I come before the Lord, bow before the Most High God? Shall I come before Him with burnt offerings, with yearling calves? 7. Will the Lord be pleased with thousands of rams, with myriad streams of oil? Shall I give my firstborn for my transgression, the fruit of my body for the sin of my soul? 8. He has told you, O man, what is good, and what the Lord demands of you; but to do justice, to love loving-kindness, and to walk discreetly with your God.

That’s it. Nothing we cannot do. In fact this is what the 12 Steps lead to – a close relationship with G-d, where it really doesn’t matter where we come from or what is our prior experience – what matters is that we walk with G-d one day at a time, and in the end we will all be ok. Really, we will all be ok.

Nitzavim-Vayelech – Teshuvah – A New Beginning

Torah Portion: Devarim/Deuteronomy 29:9 - 31:30 Haftarah: Isaiah 61:10 – 63:9 Isaiah 55:6 – 56:8

I have decided to try an weave two of my most precious life-lines together – Torah and the 12 Step Program of Recovery – there really is no better place to start that challenge than on the second Last Shabbat before Roshashana and Yom Kippur.

So this weeks Dvar Torah is dedicated to my friends in Recovery – you all know just who you are

Focal Point Devarim/Deuteronomy 30:6-14

Then the L-rd your G-d will open up your heart and the hearts of your offspring to love the L-rd your G-d with all your heart and soul, in order that you may live. The Lord your G-d will inflict all those curses upon the enemies and foes who persecuted you. You, however, will again heed the L-rd and obey all His commandments that I enjoin upon you this day. And the L-rd your G-d will grant you abounding prosperity in all your undertakings, in the issue of your womb, the offspring of your cattle, and the produce of your soil. For the L-rd will again delight in your well-being, as He did in that of your fathers, since you will be heeding the L-rd your G-d and keeping His commandments and laws that are recorded in this book of the Teaching — once you return to the L-rd your G-d with all your heart and soul.

Surely, this Instruction which I enjoin upon you this day is not too baffling for you, nor is it beyond reach. It is not in the heavens, that you should say, “Who among us can go up to the heavens and get it for us and impart it to us, that we may observe it?” Neither is it beyond the sea, that you should say, “Who among us can cross to the other side of the sea and get it for us and get it for us and impart it to us, that we may observe it?” No, the thing is very close to you, in your mouth and in your heart, to observe it. impart it to us, that we may observe it?”

1. We admitted we were powerless over [insert your drug, process of choice here], that our lives had become unmanageable.
2. Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of G-d as we understand G-d.

Did you know that in the original “order” of the 12 Steps [which were actually 6], steps 1, 2 and 3 were baked into one?

Why was that? Because realizing that we are powerless and that our lives have become unmanageable can be very overwhelming, and more often than not there are behaviors we need to stop right away if we are to save our very lives, so we need to move from powerless and unmanageable without anywhere to go, to powerless and unmanageable with not only hope of a place to go, but to a place where we can actually be restored to some resemblance of sanity – and that my friends happens in step 3.

See, step 1 won’t tell you anything but that your are powerless and unmanageable, step 2 will only tell you that sanity is possible – but neither of them will actually provide sanity so being confronted with steps 1 and 2 is rather harsh – that’s why, originally, people were asked to take the 3 first steps as one, because step 3 will restore sanity on a daily basis, because step 3 is where we give up trying to control ourselves and the world around us and let G-d (as we understand G-d)take control of us one day at a time.

“But I don’t believe G-d loves me, that He cares about me or that He even exists!”.

One of my sponsors once told me that it doesn’t matter what I believe – it matters what I do. So my beliefs is immaterial, because if I tell G-d every morning that I turn my life over to Him (whoever or what ever He is) He will do the work as long as I do my footwork – go to meetings and check in with my sponsor. Did I believe it would work? No. But I did it because it was my last way out of a life that had brought me to the abyss where I was seriously staring suicide in the eyes. I was in so much pain that I would probably have done acrobatics if my sponsor had told me it would work.

But the simple wisdoms “Act as if” and “Fake it till you make it!” is actually in Torah: “And he took the Book of the Covenant and read it within the hearing of the people, and they said, “All that the Lord spoke we will do and we will hear.” (Shemot/Exodus 24:7)

Children learn through mimicking what adults do – they do before they understand what they are doing. Torah tells us that, in regards to a functional life (because that is what living according to Torah leads to) this is the attitude we need to take – learning/understanding through doing what we need to learn/understand.

So, I can work Step 3 even if I don’t believe it, just because I need to, and eventually it will be something I believe, something I do with faith and hope and trust that G-d as I understand Him, is restoring me to sanity on day at a time.

So how is this all connected to Torah and being Jewish?

Well, for one working step 1 is a natural part of the Jewish Path – every year, with the start of Elul, Jews all over the World begin a process of self-reflection, self- examination that will eventually lead them to identification of areas in their lives where they are out of control and need to do Teshuvah (return to Torah and G-d). Hope is also built into the Jewish Path – that G-d will restore that which was broken and bring sanity, because when the Gate closes on Yom Kippur all of Israel has been forgiven and a new beginning is declared.

“In all their troubles He was troubled, And the angel of His Presence delivered them. In His love and pity He Himself redeemed them, Raised them, and exalted them All the days of old” (Isaiah 63:9)

Step 3 is just a natural sequel to all of this in Judaism – Teshuvah – Forgiveness – Renewed Observance. All in the manner that fit each of us and our recovery.

Here’s a Jewish Prayer that fit perfectly to say at the end of any 12 Step Meeting:

Adon Olam

The Lord of the Universe who reigned
before anything was created.
When all was made by his will
He was acknowledged as King.

And when all shall end
He still all alone shall reign.
He was, He is,
and He shall be in glory.

And He is one, and there’s no other,
to compare or join Him.
Without beginning, without end
and to Him belongs dominion and power.

And He is my G-d, my living G-d.
to Him I flee in time of grief,
and He is my miracle and my refuge,
who answers the day I shall call.

To Him I commit my spirit,
in the time of sleep and awakening,
even if my spirit leaves,
G-d is with me, I shall not fear.

Shabbat Shalom!

Nitzavim-Vayelech – Teshuvah – A New Beginning

Torah Portion: Devarim/Deuteronomy 29:9 - 31:30 Haftarah: Isaiah 61:10 – 63:9 Isaiah 55:6 – 56:8

I have decided to try an weave two of my most precious life-lines together – Torah and the 12 Step Program of Recovery – there really is no better place to start that challenge than on the second Last Shabbat before Roshashana and Yom Kippur.

So this weeks Dvar Torah is dedicated to my friends in Recovery – you all know just who you are

Focal Point Devarim/Deuteronomy 30:6-14

Then the L-rd your G-d will open up your heart and the hearts of your offspring to love the L-rd your G-d with all your heart and soul, in order that you may live. The Lord your G-d will inflict all those curses upon the enemies and foes who persecuted you. You, however, will again heed the L-rd and obey all His commandments that I enjoin upon you this day. And the L-rd your G-d will grant you abounding prosperity in all your undertakings, in the issue of your womb, the offspring of your cattle, and the produce of your soil. For the L-rd will again delight in your well-being, as He did in that of your fathers, since you will be heeding the L-rd your G-d and keeping His commandments and laws that are recorded in this book of the Teaching — once you return to the L-rd your G-d with all your heart and soul.

Surely, this Instruction which I enjoin upon you this day is not too baffling for you, nor is it beyond reach. It is not in the heavens, that you should say, “Who among us can go up to the heavens and get it for us and impart it to us, that we may observe it?” Neither is it beyond the sea, that you should say, “Who among us can cross to the other side of the sea and get it for us and get it for us and impart it to us, that we may observe it?” No, the thing is very close to you, in your mouth and in your heart, to observe it. impart it to us, that we may observe it?”

1. We admitted we were powerless over [insert your drug, process of choice here], that our lives had become unmanageable.
2. Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of G-d as we understand G-d.

Did you know that in the original “order” of the 12 Steps [which were actually 6], steps 1, 2 and 3 were baked into one?

Why was that? Because realizing that we are powerless and that our lives have become unmanageable can be very overwhelming, and more often than not there are behaviors we need to stop right away if we are to save our very lives, so we need to move from powerless and unmanageable without anywhere to go, to powerless and unmanageable with not only hope of a place to go, but to a place where we can actually be restored to some resemblance of sanity – and that my friends happens in step 3.

See, step 1 won’t tell you anything but that your are powerless and unmanageable, step 2 will only tell you that sanity is possible – but neither of them will actually provide sanity so being confronted with steps 1 and 2 is rather harsh – that’s why, originally, people were asked to take the 3 first steps as one, because step 3 will restore sanity on a daily basis, because step 3 is where we give up trying to control ourselves and the world around us and let G-d (as we understand G-d)take control of us one day at a time.

“But I don’t believe G-d loves me, that He cares about me or that He even exists!”.

One of my sponsors once told me that it doesn’t matter what I believe – it matters what I do. So my beliefs is immaterial, because if I tell G-d every morning that I turn my life over to Him (whoever or what ever He is) He will do the work as long as I do my footwork – go to meetings and check in with my sponsor. Did I believe it would work? No. But I did it because it was my last way out of a life that had brought me to the abyss where I was seriously staring suicide in the eyes. I was in so much pain that I would probably have done acrobatics if my sponsor had told me it would work.

But the simple wisdoms “Act as if” and “Fake it till you make it!” is actually in Torah: “And he took the Book of the Covenant and read it within the hearing of the people, and they said, “All that the Lord spoke we will do and we will hear.” (Shemot/Exodus 24:7)

Children learn through mimicking what adults do – they do before they understand what they are doing. Torah tells us that, in regards to a functional life (because that is what living according to Torah leads to) this is the attitude we need to take – learning/understanding through doing what we need to learn/understand.

So, I can work Step 3 even if I don’t believe it, just because I need to, and eventually it will be something I believe, something I do with faith and hope and trust that G-d as I understand Him, is restoring me to sanity on day at a time.

So how is this all connected to Torah and being Jewish?

Well, for one working step 1 is a natural part of the Jewish Path – every year, with the start of Elul, Jews all over the World begin a process of self-reflection, self- examination that will eventually lead them to identification of areas in their lives where they are out of control and need to do Teshuvah (return to Torah and G-d). Hope is also built into the Jewish Path – that G-d will restore that which was broken and bring sanity, because when the Gate closes on Yom Kippur all of Israel has been forgiven and a new beginning is declared.

“In all their troubles He was troubled, And the angel of His Presence delivered them. In His love and pity He Himself redeemed them, Raised them, and exalted them All the days of old” (Isaiah 63:9)

Step 3 is just a natural sequel to all of this in Judaism – Teshuvah – Forgiveness – Renewed Observance. All in the manner that fit each of us and our recovery.

Here’s a Jewish Prayer that fit perfectly to say at the end of any 12 Step Meeting:

Adon Olam

The Lord of the Universe who reigned
before anything was created.
When all was made by his will
He was acknowledged as King.

And when all shall end
He still all alone shall reign.
He was, He is,
and He shall be in glory.

And He is one, and there’s no other,
to compare or join Him.
Without beginning, without end
and to Him belongs dominion and power.

And He is my G-d, my living G-d.
to Him I flee in time of grief,
and He is my miracle and my refuge,
who answers the day I shall call.

To Him I commit my spirit,
in the time of sleep and awakening,
even if my spirit leaves,
G-d is with me, I shall not fear.

Shabbat Shalom!